Dream Journal: "The Letter"
August 2004 - early morning.
I had this dream I had received a letter. With the unopened envelope in hand, my dream began in front of an office building*. (*I worked at this real building around 1999 with a subsidiary of Deloitte and Touche, as a contractor for Resources Connection, in Los Angeles, CA, in the heart of the business district of the City). In the dream, the skies were cloudy in somber grey, as if a storm was brewing. I walked into the marble foyer and proceeded to the elevator, with my envelope in hand. Other men and women, dressed in business suits / apparel joined me in the elevator. I began to extend my hand to touch an appropriate level number, only to realize there was no "bank" of numbered elevator buttons. Instead of seeing the clear white bubble buttons with numbers, my eyes could only see two similarly formed buttons in the shape of an arrow button pointed upward and an arrow button pointed downward. My index finger pushed the "up" arrow button and it lit up temporarily, then lit off. I pushed again a few times in frustration, but to no avail. Apparently someone had already pushed the down button and the elevator could only go one way at a time, so down we went. At the back of my mind i'm surmising that perhaps this isn't any ordinary elevator. Perhaps instead, it is an elevator ride to heaven or to hell! The elevator descended and descended, rattling more noticeably and light flickering more nervously as we furthered our descent (somewhat unusual for a "business / corporate" commercial elevator)!
The doors finally opened, and we were greeted by the scene of a very simple music concert hall, the kind you might find at one of those bar / dance / concert venues in your average town. (This reminded me of the interior of a place in Westport, Missouri called "The Beaumont Club," which I had once seen when it wasn't in use one day). The area was blocked to prevent easy entry, with a red velvet rope like the ones you see in a movie theatre. A few attendants dressed like the theatre ticket collectors of old (with the red and gold bellhop like suits - with cap, jacket and black pants) took the envelope from each passerby as if they were tickets for admission. But I managed to get past them without handing over my envelope. As I walk out of the lines and into the more open space, my eyes surveyed the hall. Fifteen to twenty five rows of wooden benches with a big aisle in the middle, leading up to a crude stage - the kind you would see for a rock band that hadn't quite made it yet. The wooden benches were a third full with people milling about, waiting festively for the concert and "party" to start. There were all kinds of people walking about - old people, young people, business executives, teenagers, bald motorcyle bikers, big people, little people, and so on.
As I sat near the back left side of the auditorium, I noticed some "goth chicks" dressed in those white, red/green plaid skirt school girl uniforms, but with black and red goth hair and dark mascara. They were whispering to each other, looking back, complaining in "Valley Girl" tones about the long wait. As I waited, I start getting nervous, feeling that something bad was waiting to happen, and I got up, deciding to make my way out of there. As I walked through, back past the attendants to the elevator, I showed my envelope in hand to pass by them. Others had gotten up behind me to follow, but were prevented from leaving because they no longer had their "pass."
As I stepped alone into the elevator, one of the attendants brought a metalic (silver or gold) tray full of enticing appetizers...the type of food, such as those little sweet and sour sausages and meatballs, that you know isn't good for you, but is enjoyable to eat. As I looked at the tray of food, I thought to myself - what if it isn't what it appears to be - suddenly the tray of food morphed into a tray full of bown worms and maggots...bugs crawling in the gravy. I pushed the tray back into the smiling attendant's arms as the elevator door closes - the very last glimpse and sounds heard - as charred arms pull back the stenched tray from the elevator - were blackness, a whisp of black smoke, and muffled screams.
The dimly lit elevator pulled up to the lobby and I disembarked with relief. As I walked into the terrace where I began my dream, I suddenly remembered the unopened envelope. The skies were still grey but slightly darker as evening approached. I tore open the envelope and read the letter written in a woman's handwriting, but as in many dreams, the page is blurry and i had difficulty reading the whole letter - but the part I could read brought a terrifying understanding -
"Dear ~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You never told me!!!
{signed} Pat"
I realized at that moment that this letter was sent from hell by a lady, who, in reality worked for my mom as a caregiver - a woman who I never cared about, and with whom I was a bad example as it related to my lack of kindness and consideration to her...because I didn't like her. This lady had written me in anguish - telling me of her eternal fate because I never shared the gospel - the good news of God's salvation - nor did I demonstrate God's love by my actions toward her while she was alive - at this moment of realization, I cried out with sobbing with tears, and I woke up from my dream, still crying. Visibly shaken, I jumped off the couch where I was sleeping and called up my fiance at the time, and told her my dream. I then recalled how I had an aunt who the Holy Spirit had laid a burden to share the gospel with, and I had not listened, and procrastinated because I was scared to share - and she died never hearing the Message - and I had deep regrets over that. Relieved that Pat was actually still alive, but none the less, brooding over what I should do regarding talking to her, and ashamed of my prior attitude toward her - I got up and walked to the front door to get some fresh air and wake up to the sunlight. As I opened the door, I noticed something laying next to the side of the front door's ledge....a pamphlet. I picked it up, turned it over and read the inscription - "How To Get To Heaven" with a message inside regarding the Gospel. I looked up realizing God had given me a second chance to share the message.
NOTE: This is all from a real dream and real events that took place after the dream. I ended up saving the pamplet and putting it in an enveloped addressed to "Pat" and gave it to her, telling her my dream, my regrets about my aunt, and apologizing for my bad behavior toward her. To this day, I do not know if that impacted her, as she later stopped working for Mom, but I shared and dis my part. Sometimes we will never know the results.
I had this dream I had received a letter. With the unopened envelope in hand, my dream began in front of an office building*. (*I worked at this real building around 1999 with a subsidiary of Deloitte and Touche, as a contractor for Resources Connection, in Los Angeles, CA, in the heart of the business district of the City). In the dream, the skies were cloudy in somber grey, as if a storm was brewing. I walked into the marble foyer and proceeded to the elevator, with my envelope in hand. Other men and women, dressed in business suits / apparel joined me in the elevator. I began to extend my hand to touch an appropriate level number, only to realize there was no "bank" of numbered elevator buttons. Instead of seeing the clear white bubble buttons with numbers, my eyes could only see two similarly formed buttons in the shape of an arrow button pointed upward and an arrow button pointed downward. My index finger pushed the "up" arrow button and it lit up temporarily, then lit off. I pushed again a few times in frustration, but to no avail. Apparently someone had already pushed the down button and the elevator could only go one way at a time, so down we went. At the back of my mind i'm surmising that perhaps this isn't any ordinary elevator. Perhaps instead, it is an elevator ride to heaven or to hell! The elevator descended and descended, rattling more noticeably and light flickering more nervously as we furthered our descent (somewhat unusual for a "business / corporate" commercial elevator)!
The doors finally opened, and we were greeted by the scene of a very simple music concert hall, the kind you might find at one of those bar / dance / concert venues in your average town. (This reminded me of the interior of a place in Westport, Missouri called "The Beaumont Club," which I had once seen when it wasn't in use one day). The area was blocked to prevent easy entry, with a red velvet rope like the ones you see in a movie theatre. A few attendants dressed like the theatre ticket collectors of old (with the red and gold bellhop like suits - with cap, jacket and black pants) took the envelope from each passerby as if they were tickets for admission. But I managed to get past them without handing over my envelope. As I walk out of the lines and into the more open space, my eyes surveyed the hall. Fifteen to twenty five rows of wooden benches with a big aisle in the middle, leading up to a crude stage - the kind you would see for a rock band that hadn't quite made it yet. The wooden benches were a third full with people milling about, waiting festively for the concert and "party" to start. There were all kinds of people walking about - old people, young people, business executives, teenagers, bald motorcyle bikers, big people, little people, and so on.
As I sat near the back left side of the auditorium, I noticed some "goth chicks" dressed in those white, red/green plaid skirt school girl uniforms, but with black and red goth hair and dark mascara. They were whispering to each other, looking back, complaining in "Valley Girl" tones about the long wait. As I waited, I start getting nervous, feeling that something bad was waiting to happen, and I got up, deciding to make my way out of there. As I walked through, back past the attendants to the elevator, I showed my envelope in hand to pass by them. Others had gotten up behind me to follow, but were prevented from leaving because they no longer had their "pass."
As I stepped alone into the elevator, one of the attendants brought a metalic (silver or gold) tray full of enticing appetizers...the type of food, such as those little sweet and sour sausages and meatballs, that you know isn't good for you, but is enjoyable to eat. As I looked at the tray of food, I thought to myself - what if it isn't what it appears to be - suddenly the tray of food morphed into a tray full of bown worms and maggots...bugs crawling in the gravy. I pushed the tray back into the smiling attendant's arms as the elevator door closes - the very last glimpse and sounds heard - as charred arms pull back the stenched tray from the elevator - were blackness, a whisp of black smoke, and muffled screams.
The dimly lit elevator pulled up to the lobby and I disembarked with relief. As I walked into the terrace where I began my dream, I suddenly remembered the unopened envelope. The skies were still grey but slightly darker as evening approached. I tore open the envelope and read the letter written in a woman's handwriting, but as in many dreams, the page is blurry and i had difficulty reading the whole letter - but the part I could read brought a terrifying understanding -
"Dear ~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You never told me!!!
{signed} Pat"
I realized at that moment that this letter was sent from hell by a lady, who, in reality worked for my mom as a caregiver - a woman who I never cared about, and with whom I was a bad example as it related to my lack of kindness and consideration to her...because I didn't like her. This lady had written me in anguish - telling me of her eternal fate because I never shared the gospel - the good news of God's salvation - nor did I demonstrate God's love by my actions toward her while she was alive - at this moment of realization, I cried out with sobbing with tears, and I woke up from my dream, still crying. Visibly shaken, I jumped off the couch where I was sleeping and called up my fiance at the time, and told her my dream. I then recalled how I had an aunt who the Holy Spirit had laid a burden to share the gospel with, and I had not listened, and procrastinated because I was scared to share - and she died never hearing the Message - and I had deep regrets over that. Relieved that Pat was actually still alive, but none the less, brooding over what I should do regarding talking to her, and ashamed of my prior attitude toward her - I got up and walked to the front door to get some fresh air and wake up to the sunlight. As I opened the door, I noticed something laying next to the side of the front door's ledge....a pamphlet. I picked it up, turned it over and read the inscription - "How To Get To Heaven" with a message inside regarding the Gospel. I looked up realizing God had given me a second chance to share the message.
NOTE: This is all from a real dream and real events that took place after the dream. I ended up saving the pamplet and putting it in an enveloped addressed to "Pat" and gave it to her, telling her my dream, my regrets about my aunt, and apologizing for my bad behavior toward her. To this day, I do not know if that impacted her, as she later stopped working for Mom, but I shared and dis my part. Sometimes we will never know the results.
posted by James Kellogg @ 11:27 PM
0 comments
